Hello, fans! Well, here I am again, coming back from the local store with a huge great basketful of groceries, puffing and panting my way home up a never-ending hill. I mean, really! Who in their right mind would think of designing a road home that went UPHILL?

Surely logic tells us that we have the most energy when we first set out on our walk, not when we’re heading back home. If we go up the hill at the start of our journey, while we’re fresh, we’ll still have plenty of energy to cover more ground, meaning we can challenge ourselves with longer walks. Given that our return journey will be back down the same hill, we can go further afield because we know we can get home again with little effort, even when we’re tired. That way we can get more exercise and stay healthy, which the government wants us to do. So wouldn’t it be reasonable to expect councils to take this into account? Shouldn’t they have laws to ensure that all roads home go downhill? Well, fat chance of that! To this day, all across the country they continue building roads home on dizzying upward slopes!

And there really is no excuse in this case. Someone gave planning permission for that store to be built in a valley, knowing full well that wherever they live, its customers would always have to struggle uphill to get their groceries to their front door.

Well, this has really got my goat!

But instead of just complaining, you’ll be pleased to hear that I’ve at last decided to do something about it, and for this purpose I’m going to need your help. I’m asking you to please join me in sending a strong message to the councils concerned. Let’s vote with our feet and show them what we, the public, think of their inconsiderate practices:

From now on, let’s BOYCOTT all these uphill roads till they’re forced to put things right!