Well, it’s obvious, isn’t it! Sneezing is a really disgusting habit which spreads germs and diseases everywhere. And worse than that, surely no one should have to be startled by the sudden blast of someone else’s sneeze. After all, a sneeze coming out of nowhere could give a person a heart attack! Make no mistake, sneezing is a deadly practice all right, and I for one plan to do something about it. That’s why, one week ago, I made up my mind to do whatever it takes to get new anti-sneeze law drafted and brought into effect as soon as possible.
With this as my goal, the first thing I did was to look for a way to approach the World Health Organisation, thinking that they would be able to draw up international anti-sneeze legislation which could then come into force worldwide. But after searching long and hard online, I really couldn’t see which person in the WHO would deal with my very specific suggestion about nasal explosions. So instead I decided to turn my attention to the British government, only to be confronted with the same perplexing problem: which of the many UK government departments is the one that deals with sneezing?
Can you figure it out? Well, I can’t!
So again it was back to the drawing board, and this time I came up with a new idea: Why not turn to the local council? Well, of course I knew this wouldn’t result in any national legislation, but at least it would keep our local area sneeze-free. However as I looked up the names of Councillors on the Executive Board, once more I came up against the same problem: if there actually is a Councillor in charge of sneezing, then it’s a very well kept secret…
Well, I mean, honestly! Is that a responsible way for the authorities to manage public health? Of course not! But fear not, fans, I’m not giving up the fight yet. My next idea is far and away the most radical and exciting one to date. I’m starting an online petition to the Prime Minister, titled: ‘Freeze that Sneeze – Make Sneezing Illegal!’ I’ve already got three supporters, and I only need nine hundred and ninety seven more to get to my first goal of one thousand signatures…
Which, I think you’ll agree, only goes to show that with some hard work and a lot of grit, even a rat can change the world!
