After my encounter with the fiery tempered goblin the day before, it was with great excitement that I set out in the wee small hours to go prospecting for gold in the stream. Since the sun was not yet up, and I had taken the precaution of dressing in army fatigues to avoid attracting attention, I was very confident that no one had noticed or followed me along the way. That being so, all I needed to do was return to the place where I had accidentally caught the fish with the golden nugget, and start dredging. But in spite of my best efforts to retrace my steps back to the spot, it appeared I had somehow gone wrong. Now as I gazed around in the gloom of a soggy dawn and saw that nothing here was familiar, I felt an uneasy lurch in my stomach. As unlikely as it seemed, I was forced to accept that on this occasion my normally excellent navigation skills had let me down. The result was that I hadn’t a clue where I was, or how in the world to get home… but worse than this, I couldn’t shake the feeling that an unseen, hostile entity was closing in on me fast – meaning I was now in imminent danger!

Breathing in short, anxious little gasps, I took cover under some shrubs as I nervously scanned the scene for predators. However, despite my fears nothing in those surroundings gave even the smallest sign of trouble. Just ahead I observed a bunch of starlings squabbling loudly over a piece of bread that one of them had dropped in flight, while at the water’s edge a red-breasted bird was performing his morning ablutions. In the meantime somewhere up in the trees a pigeon was cooing, and from a road far away I could just make out the sound of distant traffic. In fact, everything I saw and heard seemed so reassuringly commonplace that in due course I relaxed my guard and emerged from my hiding place under the scrub. After all, I had just one day left to change my luck – to either find more gold, or go back to fishing for Hervor’s meals – and this opportunity might never come again. With that, the decision was made. Morning had broken and daylight was here…

It was high time to pursue the prize!

So it was, that energised by these inspiring thoughts I at once perked up. Swinging my knapsack over my shoulder I headed off to the pebble beach that ran by the waterside, keeping step with a jaunty little tune that I was whistling as I dredged the bed of the stream. And just as a robin flitting from tree to tree echoed that cheerful melody, so even the sun came out to scatter the clouds and warm and brighten the air. Indeed the whole of nature stirred with such a happy expectation, that as I surveyed it all, I couldn’t help but believe that abundant good fortune was coming my way. Surely nothing could go wrong, and today was my lucky day!

Well, as it turned out, the first few hours yielded only an old coin of no particular interest, which, since it still had monetary value, I put in my pocket. Then I continued dredging till my knapsack was once more heavy with silt and stones, whereupon I emptied it out and began slowly sifting through the contents.

By now the sun shone relentlessly out of a clear blue sky, and the temperature was so high that it became really hard to concentrate on my work. And truth be known, I would probably have missed it altogether if at that moment a sudden sound – the sonorous, liquid song of a robin just a couple of feet away on a branch– hadn’t brought my attention back to the job. For as I recalibrated my gaze, directing it firmly onto the pile of sand and pebbles, it jumped out at me at last:

The unmistakable glint of an itty-bitty piece of gold, about the size of a tiny ball bearing! And that wasn’t all. A meticulous search through the rest of the material turned up a further three pieces –

I was ecstatic!

Now that I knew for sure I’d be able to pay the Sissy the Mink for several more days at least, I spent a lot more time examining the same stretch of water over and over again to make sure it had given up all of its treasure. Then just as I was wondering how to find my way from there to the jewellery shop, a bird hopped down in front of me and began to speak.

‘Lord Grumpkin of Grumblemore?’ he enquired.

‘Yes, that’s me,’ said I with surprise. ‘And who, may I ask, are you?’

‘Well, really, I thought everyone knew that,’ said he with equal surprise. ‘I’m Robin the Robin, of course.’

‘Robin the Robin?’ My face pulled into a frown. ‘You have “Robin” for both of your names?’

‘Just what are you implying, Lord Grumpkin? What in the world could possibly be wrong with having “Robin” for both of my names?’  His voice was tinged with anger, and I could see this conversation was about to take a wrong turn.

‘Do forgive me, I didn’t mean to offend,’ I said hastily, ‘it’s just that most people with two names have two different names, you see… not the same name twice.’

‘Really? Well, then, by your reckoning, having the same name twice should make my name not only different but quite distinctive, wouldn’t you say?’ he said. And as Robin the Robin loomed menacingly over me I would swear that he grew at least three inches taller.

‘Oh yes, well I suppose it does… I conceded, staring weakly up at him.

A short, uncomfortable pause followed.

‘Well, come on, come on, Lord Grumpkin, I haven’t got all day!’ he exclaimed impatiently. ‘Do you want my navigation services or not?’

‘Your navigation services?’

The bird rolled his eyes in frustration. ‘Would you or wouldn’t you like me to take you to Bead & Sons the jewellers?’ he asked with a muffled invocation.

‘You’re offering to take me to the jewellers’ shop? Oh, yes, please!’ I said eagerly.

‘Fine,’ he grunted back, ‘in that case, follow me.’

And then before you could say ‘blast-off’, we were away.

Well, it has to be said, Robin the Robin could certainly move. And although it is true that he had wings, in fact he was racing ahead of me by means of nothing more than leg power, making me struggle with all my strength just to keep up. I panted doggedly along behind him for what felt like hours, wondering how on earth he could maintain such a gruelling pace. Then, as little by little familiar landmarks appeared on the horizon, to my huge relief, coming up in the distance I finally recognised the facade of Bead & Sons. But just as we arrived at the door, something alarming and very scary happened –

Before my eyes the red-breasted bird suddenly vanished!

I can tell you, fans, this was a terrible shock. However, even more of a shock was the equally sudden and unexplained appearance of Bead the Elder in the exact same spot where the robin had stood – right there in front of me, by the jewellery shop!

Bewildered? You bet I was!

‘Oh, Mr. Bead, you startled me!’ I exclaimed, clapping a hand to my pounding heart. ‘I’m really sorry, I didn’t see where you came from.’

‘Lord Grumpkin! What an unexpected pleasure, do come inside,’ he responded brightly as he held open the door for me. ‘Am I right in presuming you’ve brought me some more items to value?’

‘Actually, yes, I found these earlier to-day,’ I said. And I carefully placed the four small metallic balls up on the counter for him to examine.

‘Well, my, my, you have been busy! Let’s see what we have here,’ said he, taking them in his beak one by one to taste the quality. There was silence for a while as he pondered his verdict. But then:

‘Oh dear, Lord Grumpkin, I’m ever so sorry but it appears you’ve had rather a wasted morning,’ he concluded with a shake of his head. ‘Unfortunately there’s no real gold in any of these pieces. They’re nothing but pyrite, or fool’s gold – an iron sulfate which is quite common in Wales, as I’m sure you know. What a shame, they are pretty little things, aren’t they? But of course, they’re completely worthless.’

‘Worthless?’ The news was shattering. ‘You mean, I can’t sell them?’

Bead restrained his amusement at my evident dismay. ‘Sell them? As what – paperweights?’ he joked. ‘Oh, don’t be discouraged, sir, it’s an easy mistake to make, and I assure you, one made by countless other hopefuls before you. But you’re not like them, are you? You know what it is to find real gold, and you’ve been bitten by the bug. You’re determined to strike it rich, and you won’t give up till you succeed! And it will happen, Lord Grumpkin, I’m sure it will… but sad to say, just not today.’

He stared at me pityingly for a moment, then a new thought struck him. ‘Tell you what, I’ve got an idea,’ he told me. ‘How about I use your pieces to make some costume jewellery? In my experience, pyrite looks quite good in a brooch or bracelet. What do you think?’

‘Oh, yes, that’s a great idea!’ I cried, so glad to have finally found a purpose for them.  ‘Does that mean you’re going to buy them from me after all?’

‘Buy them? Oh, no, sir, I don’t think you understand. It costs a considerable amount of time and money to make costume jewellery, so if you want to have these pieces turned into wearables, then I’m afraid it’s you who will have to pay me, not the other way around. And of course, we are speaking of the full amount, not merely a deposit, payable in advance and in cash. After that, once the items are sold we can split the profits between us – say, fifty-fifty, if that’s agreeable?’

By this time my brain was really foggy with all this confusing information. What was that he was telling me? …that we’d go fifty-fifty on the production costs, then I’d get the whole profit in cash when the jewellery was sold? I was fairly sure it was something along those lines, but then again, I was feeling unusually drowsy and it was becoming progressively harder to focus…

‘Wake up, wake up, Lord Grumpkin! Are you all right? Can you hear me?’

Then with a quick shake of his body, the magpie instantly transformed back into the small, green, hairy extra-terrestrial that he really was, and his face broke into a satisfied smile. ‘It’s fine, Shifty, he’s dead to the world, we can start just as soon as you’re ready,’ he told his gangling, purple-skinned colleague, whose fourteen fingers were drumming out an impatient rhythm on the counter. ‘Don’t worry, when he wakes up he won’t remember a thing, I promise,’ he added confidently.

‘Well, well, Sham… all done and dusted in only six and a half minutes,’ she replied with an icy wit. ‘But then again, I suppose for you that’s quite a record, isn’t it!’ And she gave an audible grunt of exasperation.

‘Oh, absolutely, it’s a personal best! After all, you know what they say, don’t you? Practice makes perfect,’ he responded happily, oblivious to her ill-concealed insult.

‘Fine, well, we’re way behind schedule, so let’s just cut the chit-chat and get the heck out of here, okay? Right, do we need to run through any last checks before liftoff?’

‘Uh-uh, no. Everything’s fine, we’re good to go, Shifty,’ came the response.

‘Well, great, then it looks like we’re finally on our way.  Okay, are we ready?’ Sham nodded, and she took a deep breath to steady herself. ‘All right, let’s go… Three, two, one, and – NOW!’

And next instant, everything went black.