Well, fans, I really don’t know what it is about me and watermelons, but it seems that whenever I eat any, I always have the most vivid dreams. Take yesterday, for instance. I had just consumed a splendid meal of tuna and macaroni salad topped with tomato sauce, and rounded this off with a lovely great hunk of pink watermelon. But afterwards I fell asleep, and before I knew it I found myself in an alternate reality where, believe it or not, I would soon play a pivotal role in a magical story of love…

As the dream began, I peered out of a hole in somebody’s kitchen wall to see what appeared to be some family preparations for a big event. It soon became clear that the woman in charge – aptly named Swindlerella – was the mother of two rather plain and obtuse girls called Dazey and Dulley. Swindlerella also had a beautiful stepdaughter by the name of Cindy, whom she hated. To disadvantage this stepdaughter in favour of her own girls, she gave her nothing but cast-offs to wear and made her do all the housework and cooking. But Cindy was as clever as she was beautiful, and each night when the others went to bed she would go online and secretly educate herself in all manner of subjects to train her mind. She hoped that by doing this she might one day escape her horrible stepmother and run away.

Meanwhile news had arrived that the king’s eldest son, Prince Frank, was looking for a bride, and for this purpose he would hold a fancy dress ball to which all the single young ladies of the land were invited. The ball was to last two days, at the end of which time the prince would publicly announce his engagement to the girl who pleased him the best. Knowing this, Swindlerella planned to send her two gormless daughters to the ball dressed as pop stars, in hopes that one of them would be chosen as the prince’s future bride. So when this first night of the ball arrived, she packed the glitzy Dazey and Dulley off to the palace in a taxi, and then tied Cindy to a kitchen chair so she wouldn’t try to go too.

Peeping out from my hole in the wall, I couldn’t help but feel sorry for Cindy, all alone in the kitchen and now starting to cry. So quick as a wink I climbed up behind her and chewed long and hard on the ropes till at last they fell off her wrists. Then as the poor girl turned to see her rescuer, she gasped at the sight of a white rat in a jacket and bow tie beaming up at her from the floor.

‘Lord Grumpkin of Grumblemore, at your service,’ I told her proudly. ‘Glad to be able to help you, Cindy.’

‘Oh, thank you, little friend, you’ve just saved me from the misery of a cold and hungry night!’ she exclaimed. ‘Tell me, how can I repay you for such a kind deed?’

‘Think nothing of it, I’m only too glad to have been of assistance,’ said I. ‘Although of course, a slice of watermelon wouldn’t go amiss,’ I added, spying a large ripe fruit on the kitchen table.

‘Well, you’ve certainly earned that, Lord Grumpkin,’ declared Cindy, reaching for a knife to cut it with. ‘I can’t tell you how grateful I am not to be tied to that chair. But of course, it makes no difference really, I’m still a prisoner here. It’s just so unfair that I can’t go to the prince’s ball!’

‘I don’t understand it, your stepmother must be a very cruel person to treat you this way,’ I said sympathetically. ‘If there was anything I could do to get you there, I’d take you myself.’

‘I’m sure you would, Grumpkin. But don’t worry, I’m pretty used to missing out on things by now. It’s no big deal, I’ll just sit quietly at home till the others get back.’

But at that very instant there was a blinding flash of light, and a wondrous creature appeared before us. She was dressed in floaty garments of pink, purple and turquoise, and hovered in the air by means of luminous wings that shone like soap bubbles in sunlight. I and the girl stood rooted to the spot as she answered our unspoken questions.

‘Don’t be afraid, Cindy, I’m Grace, your fairy godmother,’ she said with a warm smile. ‘For many years I’ve watched you suffer patiently at the hands of Swindlerella, but don’t despair, because your suffering will soon be ended. I’ve come here today to reward you for your courage and to use my magic powers to grant you one wish. Name anything you like, and I will give it to you.’

‘What? Is this for real, or am I dreaming…?’ murmured the girl in amazement.

‘No, it’s absolutely real, you have my word,’ the fairy replied. ‘Now, what is the one thing in all the world that you wish for? Whatever it is, name it, and it will be yours tonight!’

‘Well, I… I…’ Cindy was still too shocked to speak.

‘Erm, perhaps I might be able to help,’ I suggested, stepping boldly forward to address the fairy godmother. ‘As you may know, Grace, Prince Frank is looking for a bride, and so starting from tonight he’s holding a fancy dress ball which will carry on for two days. All the single young ladies in the kingdom are invited, but Cindy’s stepmother won’t let her go. She’s totally devastated! Can you help her?’

‘Oh, dear, what a pity, my sort of magic normally loses its power after one day,’ said the fairy. ‘But never mind, give me a moment and I’ll see if I can come up with a solution.’ For a little while there was a faint tinkling sound, like the music of wind chimes, as Grace undertook some pretty tricky mental arithmetic. And then, ‘Got it!’ she announced at last. ‘All right, Cindy, this is how we’re going to do it. Now fetch me two clean glasses…’

As the girl hurried to obey, I stared on in wonder. First the fairy godmother muttered some words over the glasses, which immediately filled with ice-blue liquid. Next she gave Cindy the following instructions:

‘In a bit I’m going to ask you to drink one of these,’ she said, ‘but before that I want you to put the other one in a safe place so you can drink it at exactly 6pm tomorrow night. Be very sure to put it where no one else can find it.’

‘No problem, I’ll just pop it in the oven. Nobody else but me ever does any cooking,’ replied the youngster. And it was no sooner said than done.

‘Right, now I want you to listen very carefully. In order to make one day’s magic stretch to two, you’re only going to be able to appear in your party persona from six until twelve o’clock on both evenings. That means you’ll have to make absolutely sure that you leave the ball before midnight. I can’t emphasise this enough, Cindy, there’s really no margin for error here! You must realise that as soon as the clock starts to chime twelve, you and everyone with you will be changed back into your present form.’

The girl was mystified. ‘I don’t understand, Grace. What does changing back into my present form mean?’

But the fairy was no longer listening. Instead she ordered Cindy to pick up the glass, and began counting down the seconds till 6pm. Then at precisely six o’clock the potion was swallowed, and in a startling flash of light everything was altered. Cindy’s old clothes vanished, leaving her attired in a white satin dress and a purple cloak trimmed with fur. Her head was crowned with a diamond studded tiara, and her face shielded by a bejewelled mask to hide her identity. Out of nowhere came slippers made of finest glass, snapping magically to the size of her tiny feet. And before she had time to wonder how she would get to the ball, the watermelon became a stagecoach, six little house mice morphed into horses, and everyone including myself suddenly transferred to the road outside the house. But something was wrong. Grace and the others were all calling out to me, urging me to respond by some sort of action. Puzzled, I directed my gaze to my own reflection in a window, only to get the shock of my life. Grumpkin the Rat was a rat no more, and the moustachioed man now staring back at me was a coachman clad in full ceremonial regalia!

However, so excited were we to find ourselves thus transformed that we were quite oblivious to a secret witness, who had been noting the fairy’s activities from the start and was quietly drinking in every last magical detail. And as we were about to discover, the consequences of that oversight would soon turn out to be very nearly fatal…

To be continued…