‘Hello friendzzz, it’s me again – Bertie the Bluebottle. And honestly, I don’t know how it happened. I just nodded off for a bit, then when I woke up again, she was gone! I mean, how could a girl just disappear like that right in front of me? There was no sound, no movement, no nothing. I promise you, if Swindlerella’s behind this she won’t get away with it. If it’s the last thing I do, I’m jolly well going to see that woman gets what’s coming to her! In fact it makes me so mad, I’m getting a real buzzz just thinking about it! Well, you’ll have to excuse me, everyone, I really need to hand this story back to Grumpkin now, and keep on looking for Cindy.’

Yes, Bertie, thanks for that, and I’m sure all my fans join with me in wishing you the very best of luck! Needless to say, it’s Grumpkin here, and just so we’re clear, it’s now around 5.45 on the afternoon after Prince Frank’s two-day festivities. It’s been pretty quiet in the house today, as Swindlerella has packed her bag and gone off to visit friends at a place called The Coven, wherever that is. Well, there’s no one here in the kitchen, so I think I’ll just slip unnoticed into the living room and see if anything interesting is going on there.

Right, I’m creeping into the room now, and – ah, yes, Cindy’s two stepsisters have just come into view. There they are sitting on the settee watching TV and eating chocolates. What a lot of chocolate boxes they’ve got scattered around, and there are dirty mugs and plates everywhere! I guess it only goes to show how much they’ve been relying on Cindy to keep the place clean. But hold on – didn’t I hear the doorbell ring? Listen, there it goes again! And while their poor visitor waits patiently outside, just take a look at those two girls arguing about who should get up and see who it is!

Well, I’m glad to say, at last a rather grouchy Dazey heaves her ample buttocks off the sofa and slouches her way to the door, sucking noisily on a mouthful of chocolate toffee. I promptly follow in her footsteps, and watch her jerk back the door to stare vacantly at the stranger on the doorstep.

‘Yes?’ she says expectantly, as a brown trickle appears at the corner of her mouth and slowly runs down her face. The caller is a young man of pleasing appearance with blond hair and sparkly blue eyes, dressed in jeans and a tee-shirt.

‘Sorry to trouble you, Miss, but I wonder if you can help me?’ he asks. ‘I’ve been searching the whole neighbourhood trying to find the person who owns this shoe.’ And with that he pulls a single glass slipper out of the bag he is carrying.

The sight of it turns Dazey white with shock. ‘Who are you, and where did you get that thing?’ she demands, eyeing the footwear with a mixture of suspicion and delight.

‘I’m sorry, I’m from the palace,’ he says. ‘The shoe was found in the grounds yesterday, during the prince’s ball. It looks quite expensive, so I’ve been sent out to try and reunite it with its owner.’

‘You have? Well, in that case you’ve come to the right place. The person who wore those shoes to the ball last night is my sister Dulley,’ she tells him, still ruminating on her chunky chocolate toffee.

‘Dulley?’ A faint twitch crosses the man’s brow, as if he somehow expected a more romantic name. ‘Oh, yes of course, well, if it’s your sister’s shoe…’

‘Well, Mister, do you want to stand outside all day, or are you coming in?’

‘Ah – right then, thanks very much,’ he says, stepping gingerly over the threshold.

At this I shoot straight back into the living room, taking cover in a plant pot to observe what happens next…

Now I see the man coming in behind me. He casts a dubious eye over all the mess and disorder, scrunching up his nose at the stale odour. Meanwhile Dazey calls out several times to announce their visitor, but the TV is on so loud that her sister doesn’t hear. So in an effort to get her attention, she finally grabs the remote control and presses OFF.

‘Hey, I was watching a movie! Gimme that remote!’ cries Dulley, jumping up indignantly to snatch it back. But as soon as she spots the handsome young man by the sofa, her demeanour changes markedly – and so does her accent. ‘Oh, I say, Dazey… you quite forgot to mention that we had company,’ she remarks in affected tones, making haste to plump up her hair and smooth her dress. ‘Well, hello there, Mr… Mr…’ she holds out her hand.

‘Please, just call me Francis,’ he says, shaking it warmly.

‘Oh, well then, Francis, how very nice of you to call. Do come and sit down.’ She quickly collects up all the chocolate boxes and dumps them into the corner, then pats the empty space next to her on the two-seater sofa. He gives an awkward little smile and perches uncomfortably on the outermost edge. In the meantime Dazey is finding it hard to contain herself. With great eagerness she says, ‘Francis has something for you, Dulley! Ask him to show you what’s in his bag.’

‘Really? Well, isn’t that thoughtful, I love surprises! I wonder what it can be?’ her sister exclaims. And with that she leans in towards the young man, who has the bag balanced on his knees and is already prizing it open. Then as he extracts the shoe and places it on the table, she gasps with amazement. ‘My slipper! I don’t believe it, you’ve found my glass slipper!’

‘So it really is yours, then?’ he asks. (And is it me, or do I detect just a smidgen of disappointment in his question?)

‘Oh, absolutely! It came off in the middle of the Blue Danube Waltz, while I was dancing with the prince himself! I think it must have got kicked under some furniture, because I searched for it afterwards but couldn’t find it anywhere.’

‘The Blue Danube Waltz?’ (Now it’s Francis who has turned white.) ‘I remember that dance, Dulley. You stumbled and almost fell over, yet you still managed to keep dancing. I thought that someone had knocked into you, you never said you lost your shoe. Then soon after that you excused yourself, and before I knew it you rushed home without even saying goodbye…’

‘Oh – I don’t believe it, it’s you, isn’t it… you’re Prince Frank,’ whispers the stunned Dulley, clapping her hands to her face.

‘Yes,’ says he, ‘and two days ago I fell very much in love with a girl who wore a pair of shoes just like this one. She also had on a white satin dress with a purple cloak, just as you did yesterday. So what I need you to tell me now, is – are you really that girl?’

‘Yes, yes, of course I am!’ she cries joyfully.

‘Then Dulley, my love, would you mind very much if I ask you a favour?’

‘Oh, no, ask anything you like. Nothing is too much trouble for you, dearest!’

‘Well, then, what I would really like more than anything in the world is to see you dressed in that exquisite costume again,’ he tells her amorously.

‘My costume…?’ At her response I look on in disbelief, as hardly missing a beat she shamelessly begins to embroider the lie. ‘Oh, Prince Frank, nothing would give me greater pleasure, but it can’t be today, you see, because it isn’t here. Unfortunately there were some nasty stains on it and so my mother’s taken it to the cleaners. I’m sure we’ll have it back very soon, though. Perhaps I could put it on for you one day next week?’

‘Next week? Oh well, I suppose I can be patient for a just little while longer,’ he says. And as he snuggles up to her on the sofa, their voices soon drop down to a whisper.

By now I’m angry enough to burst, but unfortunately I can’t intervene. That’s because I’ve just seen Bertie again, and he’s making clear signs for me to keep out of sight. I’m not sure what he’s up to, but he appears to be guiding a white moth over to the table and leading her to a glass with a tiny drop of blue liquid in the bottom. I’m sorry, fans, I don’t have a clue what’s going on, but it looks to me like the moth is actually drinking the blue stuff, and –

WOW! What just happened?

The moth is gone, and in her place stands Cindy, resplendent in her white satin dress and tiara! Now Dulley recoils with shock, her face the very picture of dismay. Prince Frank is speechless as he contemplates this vision, taking in every last enchanting detail. At length his eyes travel down to Cindy’s one and only imperfection – her shoeless right foot… So he takes the glass slipper that was worn only yesterday by her treacherous stepsister, and stooping to lift the bare foot from the floor, gently slips it inside. But to everyone’s shock, it is suddenly lost in this cavernous space. Four humans now stare at the mismatched shoes on Cindy’s feet, the right one so much larger than the left that it hardly seems possible they could once have been a pair.

Then it happens. Just like that – quick as lightning – the glass slipper on her right foot snaps to size. And now the truth is out! Recognising each other at last, Prince Frank and Cindy fall into one another’s arms, so happy that they are actually laughing with joy. But exposed once and for all as the liar she really is, the deceitful Dulley hurries away in tears, followed closely by her accomplice Dazey.

Well, would you believe it, fans – a fairytale ending like this has actually been achieved by none other than a common house fly! Hats off to to you, Bertie, I’m sure you’ll go down in history for that great job! Meanwhile, of course, now that our adventure is over it would hardly be discreet for me to spy on the young couple any more, so in the circumstances I think I’ll tiptoe quietly off to the kitchen for a nice cooked supper and an early night.

‘Right you are, Grumpkin, I’m well overdue for a snoozzze myself. I’ll just sample some of this lovely chocolate that the girls have left on the floor, then I’ll go ahead and take forty winks on that lampshade up there. Well, sweet dreams to you all, and nightie night!

‘Hey, wait a minute…

‘Wakey, wakey – news flash, everyone! Sorry to be whispering, you’ll see why in a moment. Not sure how long I’ve been asleep, but I’ve just been woken by a rather wonderful sight. From my vantage point up here on the lampshade I can now see Prince Frank getting down on one knee in front of Cindy, who seems quite overcome with emotion. She’ll say yes, of course she will! Oh, izzzn’t that marvellous, what a privilege it is to witness this special occasion! Well, don’t know about you, friends, but speaking for myself I’m starting to feel quite emotional. I’m not catching any words from her yet, but… oh, darn that stupid clock, it’s started chiming twelve, and I really can’t hear anything now!

‘Hang on, I must have blinked and missed something. Cindy isn’t here! But where could she go so quickly? I remember Prince Frank glancing down at his pocket to pull out a ring. And then I remember him looking up again one second later, only to find her gone. I promise you, there’s just no way in the world that’s possible – and yet it’s true!

‘I listen as he calls her name, and follow him as he rushes from the room. He believes she’s simply overwhelmed and can’t be far away. But she is neither in the kitchen nor the hallway, nor can she be found upstairs. Fearing that she’s left the house, he now wrenches open the front door, still crying out to her. And then at long last I look on with alarm, as – hearing nothing in reply – the distraught prince runs out into the night and slams the door behind him.

‘It is only now, dear friends, that what has befallen Cindy finally becomes clear. For there by the handle, in the very place where the door has just banged into the doorframe, I see a small white moth caught by her wing –

‘And she is barely alive…’

To be continued…